One More Week

And the world opens up to me. I am so excited I can't think straight! All I keep thinking about is where I'm going, what I'm going to see, the pictures I'm going to take......and the growing I'm going to be doing. As I sit here and type this I reflect on this day today. It was gorgeous out. The sun was shining, the weather was warm, and I had another "me" day.

I took myself out to a wonderful lunch, book in hand. While I read I kept coming across parts of the book that rang so true that I was grateful I had a yellow highlighter in my purse LOL. All afternoon I kept wishing I was better at posting thru my phone. Thoughts and ideas were creeping in so much I was almost afraid I was going to forget them before I could post! Eat. Pray, Love is the book I'm reading. I've seen the movie over and over (because I own it) but the book is so much more powerful. I've had to set it down for now, because I realize it's going to be a great way to take my mind off the fact that I will be 30,000 feet in the air in a week. My fear of flying is still there, but my excitement is starting to override it, Thank God! When I got home I had a wonderful phone conversation with a friend of mine while in the hammock in the back yard. Then, I got back up and went to the store and decided to take myself to DINNER! Yep! Imagine that! I took myself out TWICE today.

You know how in the movies they make it seem like it's 'weird' or 'unusual' for someone to eat alone? Or they show the other characters as feeling 'sorry' for you? That you must be SO lonely to be eating alone.....reading a book no less! Well, let me tell you here and now, in the REAL world that is NOT the case. In fact, they almost seemed envious. I can't imagine that it takes 'courage' to eat out alone. After today the stigma of that simple act of eating whether with someone or not just boggles my mine. I had a fabulous day, wouldn't have traded it for all the tea in China. Just might do it again. Soon.

One of the things I decided today was that THIS blog is truly going to be a compilation of what the title implies, Taking My Soul Back. This blog is going to be my travels, my experiences, filled with photos and video's of places I've been. It's going to consist of my feelings while I aspire to learn new things, new cultures, new ways of life. Although I can't do it as EXTENSIVELY as Elizabeth Gilbert did in her book, I will do what I can. I have my personal itinerary in my head and am going to leave the rest to the Powers That Be to make sure I can do it. And how, you might ask, is this supposed to happen? Because it will. I know it will. It is happening already! I put "out there" that I needed some help, I threw my hands in the air (so to speak) and said, "ok....what am I going to do?" In fact, much like Elizabeth Gilbert did in her book, I almost had the same conversation with God myself.

And then I let it go..............

All at once the doors FLEW open! I don't know much about this Ascension stuff (I'm learning) but it does seem that when you just let go after you ask for something it really does seem to work. The 'yucky' stuff, the pain, the anger, coming to terms with that I am going to leave on my original blog, Walking on Broken Glass.What my intention here is, is to document for you my growth as I turn inward and appreciate the outward, (hope that makes sense).

Those of you who have been 'with' me this past year know the journey I've been on. Most of you have been on it yourself. Or are still on it. You have seen me fall down the Rabbit Hole on numerous occasions and watched me climb back out. I would have given my right arm to have been able to have therapy and medication for this past year. But at the same time it's been a blessing that I haven't. I really truly AM stronger than I gave myself credit for. And it's THAT strength that gives me the courage to do what I'm doing now. God Bless the therapist I saw (albeit only 3 times) she opened my eyes in those few fleeting sessions to a whole WORLD of answers. There were days I didn't know if I was going to make it.....anxiety attacks that I swore were going to send me 'round the bend. But I did the work and I got THRU it. In the book I'm reading she puts it so perfectly where I am at now. She is trying to come to terms with wanting it all basically.  So bear with me, and if you will turn to page 29 and skim down to the middle she says, and I quote:

My truth was exactly what I'd said to the man in Bali~~I wanted to experience both. I wanted worldly enjoyment and divine transcendence~the dual glories of a human life. I wanted what the Greeks called kalos kai agathos, the singular balance of the good and the beautiful.  I'd been missing both during these last hard years, because both pleasure and devotion require a stress-free space in which to flourish and I'd been living in a giant trash compactor of nonstop anxiety.

That last sentence is what caught me. So simple, yet so true! And it hit home for me. So that's the reason for changing the 'tone' of this blog. This is now my happy blog. Everything else I come to terms with, or any rocks I remove from My Little Red Wagon will go on the Walking on Broken Glass blog.

Wish me luck!!